Inner Feeling of Loss

Okay dearies,

this might turn out to be just a little too rambly. Please, bear with me.

If you’ve ever lost something or someone, not because of your choice or action, it just happened, you might’ve been feeling the same. Maybe you could have done something, to prevent a mournful outcome. Maybe you wasn’t doing enough, or too much, or just the exact amount but not. the. right. thing.

First things first

– you’re not the only living being who feels this way. Loss can be quite a regular part of our lives, underlying the very fabric of lifetimes.

But I’m not talking about how to drown in those feelings. I want it to be more of a gentle shaking-them-off situation.

So, here’s what happened-

Yesterday, I’ve had a wonderful, fun and long call with a friend I haven’t seen for years, as she moved further away. We had lots of fun, it was amazing –

and then

I asked.

I asked her about a dear friend, whom I lost touch with. Or, they decided to cut me off, as people in my life often did as soon as I had no ‘use’ for them.

Long friendship with a person, and a sudden disappearance – so I asked the friend who was also really close to her, what happened etc.

As hey, I sent her bunch of stuff to help her start out living on her own. Don’t take me wrong, I love helping others and giving presents and gifts, but that’s exactly why I love hearing “Thank you.” None came in a week, month, half a year.

OF COURSE I WOULD ASK what’s up with her, if she’s alright and such.

The answer was, long story short –

She became completely different person. Person neither I nor any of her past friends have ever thought she could become.

Her decision to be vile to a person who loved her was the first strange thing to notice, but that can be overlooked. Later, the person broke up with her, as he was unable to function in his life, as anything he did got criticised and blamed.

Then she quit her studies as an IT pro. She consulted both of these situations with me, and we had looong conversations.
I also sent her several books to maybe uplift her spirit. I’m not in a financial situation to do such acts, but as an effin’ Pisces, that’s just what I do. I CARE.

After all that, bam. Lost touch, been ignored, etc. And it wasn’t only me, as I discovered yesterday.

I’ve just heard from my partner she found a job, so I at least congratulated her and sent her a supportive message, which I deep down knew would be ignored, but still. It’s nice to be good to others.

Later I had other things on my mind, and I somehow cut the whole situation off. This has happened too many times.

I still cried and was sad. I have emotions. Makes sense.

SO

As we chatted yesterday blahblah I asked blah…

I got to heard a story.

A person I’ve been calming my anxious and depressed friend about, and ensuring them it’s alright to leave such a person, if it hurts this much –

is my dear friend. The bully was the girl I believed to be my friend, and the words coming from her were simply otherwordly. Not in a positive way.

Things further along got more private, so I won’t be describing them in detail or disclosing them fully.

So, what happened behind the curtain was,

that after leaving studies and getting her job, she teamed up with a wrong bunch, got some sort of a ‘boyfriend’, got into tough drugs and…

Yeah.

Which still can be accepted to an extent. So, that friend I chatted with also told me, she wanted to stay in friendship with her.
They met up and had a wonderful time.
And then, the girl started bullying my friend again, and much harder than before.

For anyone going through anything similar,

only thing you can really do is not to intervene with someone else’s life. No one will change if forced to. That’s wrong path.

What you can do is to wish them the best, even if only internally,

and RELEASE.

Move on, and release all the troubling feelings that come up.

Acknowledge their existence, allow yourself to experience them

and then

release. Never push, never hold onto them.

You can’t help anybody if the person refuses to be helped.

This is also part of the mindfulness, respect and acceptance, and part of love for living beings.

Letting them go when they decide to go.

Respecting their decisions, whatever they are.

And to keep caring for yourself as well.

As, if you sacrifice all you’ve got for someone unwilling to rise up, or to someone who tiled and polished their way into the lower vibrational levels,

you deny your love, light and energy to all your friends, family members, pets – to anyone who actually values it and deeply adores you, or is simply grateful for the smile you gave.

Lots of hugs to any of you, going through similar thing.

 

Do what feels right for you,

and always,

Flow Freely ♥

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